Musings of an Island Boy

Set my foot on Boracay soil the first time today, as part of the media immersion for one of our company's clients. Not that I was totally excited: while I've heard much about the famous island destination, the reality that this visit is part of work doesn't it make as grand as it sounds. 

While most people think the PR life is a charmed life, it isn't. It's taxing, it's tiring, and while there are a lot of perks to be thankful for (which I am, of course - it's work plus a bit of pleasure I guess, hands down) -- like what my boss said -- the fun is stripped away mostly by the fact that you're doing it for work.

Anyway, I digress from my main point. I was making a lot of observations while on the way here. Probably that's the creative side of me kicking in. I'm absorbing more of my environment since I'm trying to derive inspiration for my next story. I guess I'm amateurish that way, if one is to believe the quote from this book I'm currently reading, Philip Roth's "Everyman" (thanks Gretch!), which goes, "Amateurs look for inspiration; the rest of us just get up and go to work." And so far, there are a lot of interesting sights and sounds along the way, such as:

1.) The Jungle Boys. They were the tribal band that performed during our dinner. My friend Charl noted that it wasn't enough that you had to have musical talent to be part of the group -- you also had to have the body to show off, at the very least, since the guys performed half-naked. (Therefore, fat people = The City Boys)

2.) This ad about A-TVs for rent. Someone wrote, "Wow! You can go anywhere in Boracay!"

3.) The artificiality of the experience. The Jungle Boys playing with microphones and spotlights. 

4.)  How there's nothing majestic about hilly landscapes that give you a panoramic view of the islands when you're drunk and you have to climb uphill (a little inside joke, forgive me)

5.) Drunk muscular men bopping and bobbing their heads at the beach like they worked out all their lives to show off bulging muscles

6.) The DJ screaming "Put your hands up in the air" -- when everybody's too drunk to care

7.) French-kissing teeners in the beach. I really must be old; my sensibilities are offended

8.) How anticlimactic a tsunami would've been tonight

So far, I anticipate other things tomorrow. I am nearing inebriation -- forgive me if I fail to make this entry as ironic as I hoped it would've been. Bah. 

P.S. Thanks for calling me, buster loser. :-)

Secede to Succeed

"Evan is an engineer. He always got straight A's in school and excelled in subjects like math and biology. Evan is usually rejected socially because of his greasy hair and thick glasses. Do you wear glasses?!"

- from "You Can Be Anything! An Anti-Inspirational Guide to Adulthood" by Sarah Montague

In my pursuit for the maximum happiness and human experience, I am slowly accepting (slowly is the key word) that it is nearly impossible to be able to succeed in everything I aim to do.

And it's not just because of my own limitations. The world and circumstances create boundaries that hinder me from doing the best in everything I wish to be. Prejudices and skepticism are boxes that I cannot escape, and whether I convince myself that everything is all in the head, I don't think it's always valid to say that I can fit into different roles in a single lifetime. (Case in point: I don't think I've ever met, or will ever encounter, an ex-pornstar president or a cross-eyed quadriplegic catwalk model.)

Not to discriminate of course. This universe has its share of people who were able to fulfill different characters (like that racer Rael who's now the founder/leader of a UFO religion), but I really believe that those who managed to excel in their fields were the ones who remained focused in a single endeavor. As much as I think this shortchanges me of the experience that I crave for, I'm at the crossroad wherein I'm deciding whether or not I should settle for a single path and be the best in that, or remain stubborn and try to dedicate my life doing everything even if it might eventually mean I cannot gain recognition in those fields.

I think my indecisiveness about this stems from the fact that I still adhere to the concept that nothing is impossible. While the tagline works as a nice inspirational tug-at-the-heart slogan, I have to face the fact that I can't have it all and for every decision I make, I have to make sacrifices and learn to endure the consequences of these choices. It's irritating of course to hit that brick wall of mortality when I'm utterly convinced (in my megalomania) that I can do everything (as I've said, accepting this is a sloooooow process), but really by now, this should help me learn to put my best time, effort, and resources into something that will yield the most benefits.

And by benefits, I do not necessarily refer to money. While I'm no longer as cheeky as before to claim that money is not a factor when it comes to my decision-making (oh those were the young and foolish days which we're never looking back at again), I am still convinced that self-fulfillment remains to be a prime motivator in assessing things. However, I'm re-assessing my definition of self-fulfillment because for some reason I've somehow associated it with immediate gratification. This evidently makes it difficult for me to endure strenuous situations -- clouding my decision-making enough to make me hit the escape button the moment everything becomes too uncomfortable and unsure.

Going back to my previous entry, I should be able to comfortably forget about the uncertainty of the future and trust that perseverance and a burning passion to succeed will be enough to bring me whatever it is I want. I should give myself 20 years to determine if I've actually achieved whatever it is I want to be. Now if I end up being one of those sob stories I've heard too much about, there is always the option to try one more role I've always been fascinated to take: the crazy old hobo who shits on the sidewalk and argues with himself. (So far, I already dress like one and I constantly have batshit crazy debates with myself so I'm not exactly far removed from this future haha)